Friday, April 16, 2010

Life's Little Bumps

Things happen once in a while that we hadn’t planned on, but it’s our perspective on the situation that makes all the difference in the world. We’re supposed to enjoy the journey and sometimes there are bumps in the road. No big deal.

This week I had a little bump – literally – I was rear-ended. Nothing major, not a lot of damage, no injuries. Just a little unnerving and a gave me a little headache. I like to look at the events of my life – good and otherwise – to figure out why I attracted them, because we create, attract and invite every thing that happens to us with our thoughts, energy and feelings. No exceptions. It's the Law of Attraction.

A very insightful friend helped me with this one. It’s been a bit of a tough week emotionally. My mother has emotional meltdowns once in a while – it’s all part of the dementia and Alzheimer’s – but last week was an ongoing series of low days for her, requiring a lot of me to keep her up, happy, active and engaged. So when the weekend came, I really needed the break – it’s my only time with my husband (our Golden Time, as he calls it). My mom is fine taking care of herself for a few days and we have plenty of close neighbors to look in on her and help her out if she needs anything. I always call her to check in, say hello and ask how she’s doing, and last Saturday she seemed fine – laughing about the problems she was having ripping out and starting over on a scarf she was knitting and talking about the movie she was watching. But THEN...

A few hours later, just as we were just about to have dinner (I am doing a cleanse and only get one real meal a day and this was going to be IT…) my mother called crying hysterically saying she was confused and didn’t know what she was doing and wanted me to come home. Now I try to be the loving daughter, living with and taking care of my ailing mother, always trying to be there when she needs me, but this was supposed to be my time to take care of myself and spend the only time I get during the week with my husband. In addition, we are all the way on the other side of town, over the hill these days. I was furious. And I felt bad and guilty about being furious. But still, I was pissed and I couldn’t shake it. I had our neighbors go check on her and stay with her until we could get there. She never knows why she is upset. She’s usually just bored, or she’s been watching too much depressing stuff on TV or some other random thing could set her off. I never know. She never knows. So we sat with her, talked to her, calmed her down, I gave her her evening insulin shot and her special sugar-free ice cream that is her treat after the shot every night. When she was feeling better, I finally got her to bed and we went home and ate our dinner at 10:00pm. Thank God my husband is as understanding and patient as he is – he loves my mother and knows that these episodes happen once in a while.

As upset as I was about this, I wanted to burst into tears and release all my frustration over this situation – the fact that I am now the mother in this relationship, that my primary responsibility these days is taking care of my mom and that I can only do so much for my work and my career right now and that I only have two days a week with my husband. Usually I’m fine but every so often I reach my own breaking point. And I am usually really good about making time to have a big ol’ boo hoo and cry my eyes out once in a while just to have the emotional release since it is so very necessary and feels so good. But I was too tired, too depleted to even expend the effort to cry, so I put it off. A few other emotional issues came up early in the week that I wanted to cry over but once again, I just didn’t have the time or the energy, so again, I put it off. And then BAM! Rear-ended. It was a freak situation – the guy behind me hit his accelerator instead of his brake. But the Universe just gave me a big nudge to get my attention to remind me to release all this accumulated emotional stuff and take care of myself. I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t had much time to do that this week, but now that it’s Friday, after I finish my busy day, which will be at 9:00pm tonight, my husband will pick me up and we will have our weekend of Golden Time, and I will enjoy every minute, and I will take care of myself and let my husband take care of me too.

There can be a lot to learn and appreciate from the little bumps. Look at yours and figure out why you attracted them and how you can better take care of yourself.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend, full of fun, self-love and smooth roads ahead!

Lots of love -
tanna@living-peacefully.com

www.living-peacefully.com
Living Peacefully in a Big City available at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com

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